Get all 7 John Mendelssohn releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Christian Right Is Like a Beacon, Today Here, Tomorrow the World, Johnny Ned Mendelssohn and the Clean Hankies: Greatest Hits, Vol. 3, Britain Today, Return to Benidorm, Isambard Jones & His Orchestra, and I Have Nothing Against Homosexuality So Long as No Fellow Male Tries to Force Himself On Me, and at This Point, I Don't Think I'm in Much Danger.
1. |
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Jenna. I’m swimming in a sea of lust
Stand back! I might spontaneously combust
They say pretty is as pretty does
You’ve got it covered both ways
What were the odds I’d experience this?
Honey, you’ve cured my malaise
Bustier breeze softly caress
Jenna Joy’s Pachelbel dress
Bouffant blue-eyed and blonde
How could that fail to impress
Stockings with seams. Eau d toilette.
Courtesan chic. Crystalline
Hedy Lamar lace opera gloves.
Exquisite. Beyond that: divine
We will convene in a place beyond shame
Each of us in disguise
Variety is indeed life’s great spice
Each night a new surprise
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2. |
Makeup Sex
02:21
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You drew blood and I responded in kind.
A whole lot of fur flew last evening.
You bruised me and I bruised you right back.
Each quite ashamed, but enflamed too.
Makeup sex is almost worth that which precedes it.
Makeup sex? Let’s not have any for a while!
Brinkmanship can get both of us hot
But, baby, let’s not get addicted
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3. |
The Devil That She Knows
02:45
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Sure he’s evil through and through and beats her black and blue
But who can say for sure what might ensue
She’s got it all on tape but won’t attempt escape
He’d follow her and there’d be hell to pay
His feelings would be bruised and she would be accused
Of cruel insensitivity
She’s hopelessly confused. So used to being abused
That she can’t conceive of a better life
What does she stand to lose?
He’s kind when there’s no booze
But he’s adept at finding it
He’s sworn to her he’ll change. S
he’s wary of the strange
At least she knows what to expect from him
CHORUS
She’ll stick with the devil that she knows
though the cons outweigh the prose
God forbid his door should close!
BRIDGE
Mama says, “Ain’t no perfect marriage.” Of it she don’t know half!
If she was not so busy crying, Annie would have to laugh
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4. |
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Travel by foot or on a calico nag
Where brains don’t work there’s always brawn
Cram your resentment, baby, into this bag
We’ll leave it on some church’s lawn
There’s no Cadillac in our driveway now
There’s a pickup truck with no wheels
My regret is deep but this hill’s too steep
A fella feels what he feels
A word to the wise was not enough I am told
I should have bought a paragraph
Of sterner stuff I wasn’t made, but behold
I think i still can make you laugh
You seemed to mistake me, baby, for someone else
someone far handsomer than I
I warned you several million times or more but you chose
to view me with an unseeing eye
The lamb isn’t silent anymore the
chickens have come home to roost
I can’t seem to get up off the floor
The vaccines may need a boost
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5. |
Nouns and Apostrophes
02:37
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When it comes to nouns and apostrophes
I ain’t learned all the rules
Words may be what you feel good working with
But I use some different tools.
I’ll tell you something personal
Just between you and I
Some real good folks aren’t all that clear
On lay’s opposed to lie
I know you want grammatical, honey, and I do my best
You border sometimes on fanatical. Hey, give it a rest!
A walking, talking AP stylebook
I promise you I ain’t
But when I say, “I shouldn’t of went…”
For Pete’s sake show restraint
BRIDGE
If we let sleeping dogs lie
how long before the cat becomes deceptive too?
Who’s all right with that?
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6. |
Your Brave Face
02:26
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7. |
You Wear the Hell
03:11
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You wear the hell out of that dress.
If you are doing it to impress,
congrats! Complete success.
I’m helpless, I confess.
You wear the hell out of that dress
Whoever designed the clothes you’re wearing
couldn’t have dreamed one day someone might
make them look as good as you’re doin, darlin’
sitting in this little restaurant tonight
You wear the hell out of your smile.
Your teeth are perfect Now the aisle fills
with men I’d guess would kill
to get to pay your bill
You wear the hell out of your smile.
You’ve got such gorgeous shiny hair.
I watched a while from over there.
It shimmered in the light.
I felt such huge delight.
You wear the hell out of your hair.
[unsung:]
You wear the hell out of those boots.
This from a good old boy who roots
For all the local teams.
You are the stuff of dreams.
You wear the hell out of those boots.
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8. |
Two Different People
03:08
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Don’t say that we’re two different people
Honey, that’s so trite.
We’ve still got some good years in us
Let’s make the wrong stuff right!
VERSE
I know I’ve upset you. The whole thing’s my fault,
but, honey, we’ve been through much worse.
Let’s lock our hurt feelings up tight in a vault
and put ‘er in reverse.
VERSE
If you turn away, gal, I may as well quit.
I need you to laugh at my jokes.
And weep with me too, gal, when life warrants it.
We’ll make such cute old folks.
VERSE
I’ve been a terror, won’t claim otherwise.
\I owe you one now, that’s a fact.
I’ll pay any penance that you devise.
This is not an act
BRIDGE
Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.
We’re mostly on the same page, won’t you say?
We’ve built a life together, and there’s our daughter.
What words are going to make you stay?
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9. |
Spoken For
03:07
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I’m going to track the other fella down
no matter how remote his town
It would be tragic if a guy should drown
in his own swimming pool
You caught my eye
Indeed, you stole my heart
I hadn’t yet been told the score
A friend informed me of it all too soon
that you were claimed and spoken for
It dawned on me that I could do much more
than curse your being engaged and whine
I thought I’d find your sweetheart and propose
a deal that he could not decline
Sometimes a fella’s brakes can fail
or he can sniff coke that contains
levamisole or strychnine
Sometimes folks fall out of trains
Bad things are known sometimes to happen
to nice folks on pretty days
A healthy man can have a fatal stroke
God often works in puzzling ways
Your town’s now in mourning though it’s afternoon
Your fella was clearly adored
Over his resting place flowers are strewn
My warnings he shouldn’t have ignored
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10. |
A Route Not Full of Pain
02:22
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11. |
Other Fellas
02:34
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They tell the time on Rolex watches
They put their feet in Dior boots
They’ve got Merino sheep’s wool swatches
for their handmade suits
This new one’s got a Lamborghini
the kind that won last year’s Grand Prix
I pray that his endowment’s teeny
Other fellas tryin’ to steal my gal
makes my Type O-positive boil
They are messing with the wrong son of the soil
Brandon’s got a lodge in Aspen
Several have their private jets
I’ll bet now some rich dude’s graspin’ Gwen
That’s what money gets
BRIDGE
I’ll take my shot
I’ll sabotage the radar on his yacht
Once having grieved
my gal will be content with me.
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12. |
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13. |
The Betrayal Song
01:51
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I’m between a hard place and a rock
You haven’t even noticed my new frock
Your love’s a reckless vagrant
Your manhood’s all too fragrant
I can taste her pussy on your cock
My broken heart’s beginning to take stock
and now your time running out, tick tock
The path she’s on is bridal I’m feeling homicidal
I can taste her pussy on your cock
I can taste her pussy on your cock
My loving heart is very much in shock
You think it’s just a trifle, but look:
I’ve got my rifle
I can taste her pussy on your cock
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John Mendelssohn London, UK
John Mendelssohn is a withered old embarrassment from Santa Monica, California, who, n spite of fervent listener indifference, or even antipathy, been writing and recording music for over 50 years. NYC Rock called him “one of our more unique pop personalities, and like no one you have ever heard. From hard jingle-jangles to experimental symphonic pop, his taste roams the landscape.” ... more
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